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I’ve been speed walking on the treadmill for two weeks now and two days ago I decided that I had been working out for long enough to make me a great athlete and capable of amazing feats.

Pic 1 RBG

I decided that speed walking was close enough to jogging that I might as well do that because I would burn more calories in less time…which is always a good thing. Surprisingly the whole ‘jogging’ thing went better than expected.

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After about 10 minutes I decided that I was officially a ‘Runner’ and obviously super human so might as well start training for the Olympics right away.

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This idea was pretty solid until the 15 minute mark where things started to get a little harder. Obviously my body needed some convincing about its new life as an athlete. It can be rude and throw tantrums sometimes.

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At the 19 minute mark I was in physical agony and almost died which makes me very sad because all of my Olympic-like dreams came crashing down around me for a while.

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I thought all was lost, but I’m an extremely positive kind of person so I figured maybe I should give myself a break because it was only the first day of my amazing athletic career after all, so it was probably normal for one to be slightly tired after their first epic run.

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I felt pretty damn awesome until I started walking away from the treadmill and noticed my ankle was hurting. I guess all the adrenaline from the amazing run masked the pain while I was working out.

Pic ow question

Each step became more and more painful.

I had a screw put in during ankle surgery about 10 years ago and once in a while it insists on screwing with me and causes sharp pain that last about a day and feels like a knife stabbing my ankle when I walk.

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This pain was different, and no matter what I did, it really, REALLY hurt.

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I even tried to exercise again the next day because I’m determined like that and believe my willpower will always win.

It didn’t.

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I guess I’ll have to wait until I see my doc in January to find out when he can remove the stupid screw that’s messing with my dreams of Olympic greatness***

***I just found out that I’d have to exercise more that once or twice a year in order to be an Olympic runner so have decided instead to start a new sport called ‘Lying-in-bed-all-day-doing-nothing’. I’m currently training extremely hard and will update you on my progress from time to time but I’m pretty busy because it takes a lot of time so don’t expect tons of updates or anything.

UPDATE: BOYFRIEND READ MY BLOG AND HAD THE GALL TO SAY THE SCREW IN MY FOOT LOOKED LIKE A FISH. I HAVE DEALT WITH HIM!

SCREW

 

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 Posted on : November 19, 2014

2 Responses to “Screw you screw!”
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  1. Dearest Olympic Wannabe,

    The committe for the sport of “lying in bed all day doing nothing” would like to inform you that the current first place winner will be damned if she is giving up her spot. Ms. Vernon has held said title since her child hit his teens and looks at keeping it into retirement.

    Best luck with another sport. Perhaps you could try the “finish another novel or Ms Vernon will have to get out of bed and throttle you”? We hear it is gaining in popularity.

    Sincerely,
    Gae …..Lol!

    1. Sigh…Fine! I’m starting a new sport called ‘Finishing & publishing my damn book WHILE lying in bed all day doing nothing’, so there!!!

      P.S. You totally win the internet today 😀

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