Very smooth!!!

So the other day I decided to put up a curtain rod in my new place.

The one that was on the wall was from about the 1970’s, you know…the kind that uses those weirdly shaped curtain hook thingys. Yes I’m feeling quite eloquent today 😀

So anyway, I wasn’t about to attempt trying to find a curtain (or hooks) to use with the apparatus on the wall so I did what any sane person would do…bought new rods for every room in the house.

Since I’m in the process of building my munchkins a bunk bed at the moment – which has the kitchen in the most amazing mess you could imagine due to the lack of a garage to build stuff in – the mattress they are sharing until the bed building feat is done was on the floor at the foot of the ladder with a low bedside table between it and the ladder.

There I was perched proudly at the top of the ladder doing the ‘I am woman, hear me roar’ routine when I realized I needed more leverage  in order to drill the screw in properly without it skipping and getting stripped.

Since I was on a ladder with nothing to provide the leverage I needed except for the old curtain rod that was still installed (below the one I was working on), I naturally used what was available.

Gripping the rod with my left hand so that my knuckles were facing me, I held on to it tightly while putting pressure on my cordless drill.

From that point on things happened quite quickly, but in times of panic, I am one of those people whose brains speed up, causing events to unfold slowly enough for me to have time to react to them as if it were happening in slow motion. It has served me well in the past, and that day was no exception.

Within a matter of 5 seconds the following occurs:

1. The rod I’m gripping pulls out of the wall – because it was apparently only anchored into drywall  >:-|
2. Left hand flies at my chin at mach speed
3. I punch myself hard enough to whip my head around (and leave a bruise)
4. The ladder flies away from the wall (with me still on it)
5. Look down to assess my options, which are:
   1. Jump onto a VERY weak plastic kids bedside table which will most definitely break immediately (broken bones and serious scrapes probable)
   2. Jump off the ladder, over the table, toward the mattress & pray my ankles are strong enough to survive unbroken
6. I choose the mattress, spring off the ladder – which pushed it back to the wall – fly gracefully through the air, land in a crouched position on the mattress with the drill still in my outstretched right hand…