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Golf cart craziness

Yesterday I went out to Beausejour with my boyfriend and his kids to visit a friend of his for her birthday.

I think Sonny learned a whole lot about me that day, for instance: Silly string wars will always be won by me…

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…and when going on golf cart adventures, it’s best to make sure I’m well supervised.

He and his kids decided it would be fun to drive around and show me the area. There were four of us…on a two person golf cart.

His fifteen year old son, Ryan, took the first driving shift while he sat on the opposite end of the seat. I ended up having to squish myself between the two. His twelve year old daughter, Alix, sat on the wheel well at the back of the cart. She’s tiny’ish and managed to fit between it and the basket somehow. I think maybe she’s part cat.

I learned quickly that Sonny tends to be a somewhat stressful driving teacher, which ended up causing Ryan to panic and somehow turn in a huge circle and smash the cart headlong into a huge plastic flowerpot, which incidentally stopped us from mowing straight through the massive above ground plastic pool that was directly behind it.

I should mention that this amazing feat happened exactly 15 seconds into our trip. We hadn’t even left the lot! I thought Sonny was going to have a heart attack and immediately realized that the trip was going to be frigging awesome! I proceeded to think up amusing ways to add to his stress…because I’m fun like that.

Sonny and I have a somewhat different approach to golf cart driving lessons. He seems to think you should stay on your own side of the path and be all serious and stuff, while I am totally fine with trying to throw people out of the cart so they learn from the start how to focus on staying on the road while being accosted by noisy kids or backseat drivers. You know…real life lessons. One can never be too prepared.

So anyway, we were cruising along happily when suddenly we hear Alix yelling out for Ryan to stop trying to kill her. He had apparently taken dad’s command to stay on his side of the path a smidge too seriously and Alix was getting attacked viciously by tree branches.

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It is my opinion that this was done on purpose, but I kept that to myself and giggled as he claimed complete innocence on the matter. Ahhh siblings!

I listened in amusement as Sonny kept directing Ryan and reminding him to stay on his side, sounding more and more stressed as the ride progressed. I was tempted to offer him my drink to calm him down a little, but decided I was having far too much fun watching him become increasingly agitated.

When we finally reached the bridge they wanted me to see, Alix took over driving. Surprisingly Sonny seemed a much less freaked out by her driving than her older brother’s, so about a minute into the ride I decided he had been calm for long enough. As Alix started driving down a small hill, I discretely pressed my foot onto hers causing the cart to speed up A LOT!

The look on Sonny’s face was priceless. PURE PANIC!

When I decided he was just about on the verge of freaking out, I moved my foot over and pressed the brake to slow our decent. Alix kept her foot on the gas…also panicked…and just as I was about to calmly tell her to lift her foot, Sonny (in full panic mode and convinced we were all about to die a horrible tragic death) reached over at the same time and yanked Alix’s foot off the gas by her pant leg.

Part of the fun of freaking people out is letting them think you’re completely insane and out of control. I manage this little feat consistently.

I should probably mention at this point that I wasn’t actually trying to kill the children…the cart was literally only going about 5 miles per hour before the gas pedal incident because of Sonny’s fear of the children crashing into a car or another human being.

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The ‘hill’ was also only the size of a large bump, but when you play to a person’s fears, a bump can seem like you’re diving into the grand canyon at mach speed.

God I love messing with him!


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