Today was the day!
I’d ordered the brand new Silhouette Cameo 3 vinyl cutter 9 days ago and had since then been VERY impatiently tracking its progress to my door on a daily basis.
This thing was Bluetooth capable, could cut over 100 different materials, was capable of making custom stickers, labels, heat transfer designs for clothing or materials, stencils, came with software that included over 50,000 downloadable designs, a built-in optical scanner, and could cure diseases.
Ok maybe not the last thing, but you get my point…it’s frigging awesome and I’m going to marry it! It’s like a crafters dream machine. I’m going to put vinyl sayings over every square inch of my house!
So here I am on the day it is to arrive, perched excitedly on the couch by my front window waiting for the Canada Post truck like it’s Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve, when suddenly I see it drive by…going the wrong direction (cuz you can only park on one side on my street).
It doesn’t even slow down, just keeps racing by, rudely ignoring my whimpers of agony.
After a few moments of shock, I start thinking…’Maybe he realized he missed me and is turning around.’
That thought kept me going for another 5 minutes before I realized he would have been able to turn his damn truck around in that time.
That was the moment my heart tried to start sinking, but being the eternal optimist I kept telling myself that it was the wrong Canada Post truck and a different one would suddenly park in front my place and a happy guy, whistling a happy tune, would jump out holding my happy little package, and I would squeal in delight and meet him at the front door with a huge smile while jumping from one foot to the other in barely contained excitement, making him laugh and giving him a happy little moment to remember for the rest of his day.
I kept this little charade up in my mind until the mailman came and my upstairs neighbour slid my mail under my door (which he does every day cuz he’s awesome and I never remember to check my mail).
For a full 10 minutes I kept sitting on my couch, refusing to go look at my mail. I figured if I didn’t look…there was still a chance that stupid little card wouldn’t be in it that said the package was going to be at the post office for pickup…the stupid little card that meant I wouldn’t get my precious Silhouette machine today.
I wasn’t ready for that kind of disappointment.
So I went and made myself some more coffee and looked out of my window for a while longer.
Finally…when I could take it no more…I walked dejectedly to the door and stood looking down at the mail on the floor. Laying there, on top the other mail, all proud of its stupid self, was that dumb, stupid, soul-crushing card from Canada Post.
In that single moment I swear to you, it was like finding out Santa wasn’t real.
With my head hung and my shoulders drooping, I stared at that card with such disappointment and sadness, then turned away and lay down on the couch wrapped in a blanket.
Now here’s my question. Why does Canada Post like to mess with people so much? They know right from the start that the ‘Sender’ has requested something…or that they aren’t actually going to deliver the item to your house, so why oh why do they PRETEND on their website that they are, knowing people like me exist? They’re like…”Oooooh guess what!!!! Your item is now processed and OUT FOR DELIVERY!!! OMG ARE YOU EXCITED? I’M EXCITED! YUP IT SHOULD BE THERE SOOOOO SOON…JUST KEEP WATCHING OUT YOUR WINDOW…AAAAAANNNY MINUTE NOW!!!” **4 hours later** “Oh shoot, you know what…tsk…yeah, we decided we’re just gonna go ahead and tell the driver to bring it on back cuz he drove by and saw you looking out the window and you looked WAAAAAAY too excited and quite frankly he’s been accosted by one too many stay-at-home crafty-types in his life so he just decided it was far too risky to approach you in your current state. So sorry. Try to keep it together next time hey? Ok then. See you tomorrow after 1pm for your package once you’ve calmed down a tad. Toodles!”
After a while I was able to get off the couch and do stuff…but it wasn’t pretty.